The Purpose in Singlehood

Some days it seems as though getting married is what needs to happen before “real life” begins. We need to pick out the white dress, have the sparkling ring and just wait for prince charming to come around. Some women even lower themselves just so they can fit into this culture norm. While marriage is a beautiful thing, and the church has a major emphasis on it (which there should be), we don’t put a big enough emphasis on the value and significance of singlehood.

And yes, while I can’t wait to be married one day, I know there is a unique and high calling for both MEN & WOMEN singles.

REAL LIFE can begin now.

The purpose of singlehood.

It is divinely beautiful.

1. THE UNIQUE CALLING OF SINGLEHOOD

I’m far from a marriage expert, and the good Lord knows He has a lot of work to do on me before I get married, yet out of all the marriage counseling courses I have taken, all the lectures I have had to take note of, and by observing godly couples, I have realized there is one, major key ingredient we need to LIVE OUT to be the best wife or husband. And it is this:

Honour God first.

God over everything.

EVEN while we are SINGLE.

When we honour God first, we find out that HIS LOVE is the greatest. God is the only one who can fill our cup, everything else is an overflow of that grace.

Our future spouse is an overflow of that grace.

The moment we start to think that singlehood is non-fulfilling, empty or lonely, we start limiting the possibilities of what God wants to do through us while we are still single.

Our feelings get in the way of what God wants us to do.

God wants you to be content where you are, today, as a single person.

Paul, in the book of Corinthians makes note of this high calling of singlehood. Paul wants us to know that while we are single, you have a unique opportunity to maximize a heavenly perspective on earth. HOW AMAZING IS THAT? You have TIME to maximize your gifts, skills, time, and talents for the glory of God.

Please stop settling for who you truly are.

You are so much more valuable than you may realize.

You don’t have to go searching for your future husband or wife. You don’t have to limit yourself to a current relationship you are in.

Because guess what? While you are honouring God first (and if it’s HIS WILL), He is designing not only you for marriage, but also designing your future spouse for marriage. While you are following after Christ, He already has your future planned for you. We can never forget that.

Which leads me to my next point…

2. THE POWER OF PRAYER

What if I were to tell you, you could start working on your marriage, TODAY, by praying for your future spouse?

Just think about it.

He or she is going through temptation, hardships and trials, just like you. How amazing it would be if we started to pray for our spouses, even before we meet them.

The waiting and loneliness become less burdensome when we learn to surrender it to the God who holds the whole universe in His hands.

Making prayer apart of our lifestyle is honouring God first. Therefore, praying for your marriage is the second ingredient while being single.

3. FIND THE BEAUTY IN GOD’S TIMING

We all want things to happen NOW, instead of waiting and valuing the gift of patience. We live in a world that is fast paced, only getting faster. Our world is selfish and greedy, leaving us to think we deserve to have what we want now. But remember, we are meant to honour God FIRST.

So, you and I must learn to wait, but we must understand the right way to wait.

If we want to wait our own way, we will end up miserable, defeated and all our joy will be soaked up. Yet, if we wait the way God designed us to wait, we are able to see the beauty in God’s patterns. We develop true patience which is one of the fruits of the spirit. We also allow God to continue to mold and shape us into the person He created us to be. And you and I will understand endurance through difficult situations.

Plus, waiting is just part of the amazing adventure of living for Christ.

4. FIND COMMITMENT

As a woman, I know how easy it is to look for our future husbands everywhere we go. A woman or man of commitment to God, we know how to truly let it go.

We can keep our eyes focused on God rather than eyeing every person that passes us by.

You don’t have to go searching for “the one” every time you leave your house. Seriously. Your commitment is to Christ. Alone. And trust me, life just makes a lot more sense lived this way.

5. MARRIGE IS A GIFT

We often hear the line “I deserve more than that relationship I was just in” or “Don’t settle for less than you deserve.” While yes, there is truth and goodness from that, we have to remind ourselves of something critical:

We don’t deserve anything. We are not entitled to anything.

AND we were never meant to change someone else to fit into our liking.

God gives marriage to us as a gift.

That is all about learning to honour God first. Because when we realize how to do that, we stop thing about we deserve and start thinking, “what can I give to God?”

Marriage is part of the overflow of grace God lavishes upon us.

6. PLEASE KNOW THAT GROWING IN YOUR FAITH WILL NOT AUTOMATICALLY AWARD YOU WITH A RELATIONSHIP

There is a huge lie we believe: if we live a godly life, God will award us with a godly partner. While, yes, I believe we need to live a godly life, we need to remember to do it only for the glory of God, NOT to get a reward.

Please don't try to grow your faith in the hopes of getting a boyfriend or girlfriend. What God will reward you with is REDEMPTION.

AND, the reason you are single is NOT because God is trying to punish you.

He simply wants you to be you. You matter more to Him right now, today, and getting a significant other is never going to change that. While this world says that marriage is the start to "real life" we need to learn to rest our life in the Creator of the world. He is the only one who matters.

Spend less time trying to be "ready" for the one and start to put God first in your life.

It's the best way to live.

It will set you free.

Let your faith in Christ be louder than your loneliness or doubt.

Let your prayers give you hope for what is yet to come.

Let your commitment to Christ be higher than the culture norms.

AND, as you are single, know you have a purpose, and God HAS EQUIPPED you with the POWER to LIVE OUT your calling as a single.