Surrender is to be Truly Free

I'm sitting in my room at night time and was attempting to do some assignments for school (my college is on strike right now). I have worship music playing, and I choose to listen to the song "Give Me Faith" By Elevation Worship - I've sung this song in Worship at youth groups and at camp, and something was telling me to listen to it. I was singing along, just like I do with any song I know. But it was different, and now I have it playing on repeat while I write this.

Sarah talked about how we have to Surrender ourselves to God on her last post and devotional. I had asked her if there was anything specific I needed to write about and she told me, "no, just think and pray about it." Then while listening to this song casually it hit me...

Talk about Surrendering as well.

Most people who know me know I've struggled through a lot of mental health and personal stuff in high school, and considering where I was then, compared to now, there's a huge improvement. I've grown in my faith and God has called me to something that I never really thought about doing.

But I realized with Sarah's devotional, especially at the personal Bible Study on Monday nights, that I have the honor of attending, it just seemed to hit me that there is still stuff in my life that I need to surrender to God; and if I'm being honest, it's things I've surrendered to Him in the past but took back, or the same problem or burden came back and it's weighing me down again.

Some of you may be thinking that it's hard to surrender something, and it is. Like Sarah had said, "We like to hold on to that 1%. There always seems to be something we hold on too. But it's not until we surrender that, that we truly free."

Truly free. Don't you want to be truly free?

I know I do. I want to be able to not have to worry about things. But it's natural, we worry. But the lyrics of this song says:

"Give me faith, to trust what you say, that your good and your love is great. I'm broken inside, I give you my life."

And to top it off, the very first line in the song is " I need you." How true is that? We need God in everything we do, every day. I feel that we don't like to admit it. That we need Him, we try to do everything ourselves, and only go to Him when we need or want too. To me, these lyrics are saying so much, they're telling me to let go, to surrender what I'm still holding on too. To trust God and let Him handle my burdens and fix me. Use me for His will.

I said before that I've been through a lot, and I have. To give an example, I was hit by a firework when I was ten years old, and to be honest, it damaged me, and not just because I have physical scars. But it damaged me emotionally. At first, it didn't bother me too much, but as I became a teenager, and seemed to notice my scars. I became angry with God, I ended up going through depression, anxiety, and some other things; and the last thing on my mind was God. The last thing I wanted to do was surrender to him, to trust him. But after a short period of time, that seemed like forever I quickly realized I needed God more than anything to help get through this.

You don't need a sanctuary or an altar call. You don't need to be in a church or worship set to surrender to God. To trust him and let him know that all you want to do is trust him and surrender to him. You can kneel right now, wherever you are or say a quick prayer, and surrender to him. It doesn't have to be a huge big thing.

Just tell him.

Be honest and tell him what you want to surrender, that you want to trust him and let him lead you in your life. I'm not saying it's going to be easy because it's not.

It's totally 100% worth it, and to me, that's what matters. I would rather know God has all my troubles and burdens and fully trust him and trust that what he has planned for me is what's right. I will admit, it's scary, it's scary to not know, or not to plan your future, but that's why we have to trust him.

He will never give up on you.

He will never fail.

I hope all of you take this to heart.

Just surrender one thing to start with, and soon you'll be surrendering it all.

Love your sister,

Jenny